Monday, March 31, 2008

~GI's Juke Joint~

Welcome to GI's Juke Joint!

The featured "sanger" for this session is Ms. Ann Nesby! I came across this video a few days ago, which was recorded at Ashford and Simpson's Sugar Bar in NY. This ain't no lil' cute video with cute singin'! She got ugly and completely ridiculous. It reminded me of the way songs were and are sung back home. If we couldn't do anything else in the country, we could eat and sing! lol Anyway, the next 8 minutes and 19 seconds is going to be intoxicatingly delightful! Enjoy!

Sang Shug!!!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

@ Random

  • Isn't it amazing how fast this month and year is passing by? It's almost April, already.

  • I'm looking forward to the summer months and the warmer weather this year. I wonder what this summer's gonna bring?

  • I am in desperate need of a vacation. I love Atlanta but I need a break. Speaking of which, I was looking at Cabo Azul Resort or Aqua Cancun for my birthday this year. I mean I never do anything special for my birthdays...we'll see.

  • I'm trying to figure out why they're coming out with all these new cars and I can't get ONE!? (Gary don't you say nada, nuthin, nufftin!!)

  • I've been reading a lot of bad reviews about Meet the Browns lately and despite all that, I'm still going to see it. I'm a normal supporter of Tyler and still think the stage plays are hilarious.

  • I think I'm bipolar. How else can I explain these extreme highs and then valley lows all in the matter of an hour at the time? Somebody look up Bobby Brown so I can ask him for his prescription.

  • Is it ok to date a friend's ex or ex fling? Is it in a rule book somewhere?

  • Why do I cringe everytime my phone rings? Could it be the scars from working in a call center?

  • I've been feeling some kinda way lately. I'm so used to being a master of disguise with my internal trials. Things are starting to seep out...who I really am is beginning to show. Who touched my veil?!

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I made this music player at

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Miss Celie Blues

I feel the need to blog but can't reach the words to express myself. Lately, I've been fixated with our beloved "The Color Purple". Most of all, I've been smitten with the character of "Celie".

I can't articulate my feelings into words but this scene....I'm living in this scene at the moment. How so? What part? I can't answer that so your interpretation is free for the taking but I do know.

Have a productive Tuesday.

Monday, March 24, 2008

In the Playground of my Imagination

Tonight I'm dwelling in the playground of my imagination. Don't mind me...

This song began to play....I closed my eyes really tightly and slowly received each word...then my vision was complete. I saw my "you" in the song that I already love just because....

With my eyes still closed, I can feel the heaviness of love in my heart, you know that funny feeling you get when you are falling in love....feels like butterflies...except they flutter in the very center of the chest where that dip is in between the breast bones.

This one's for me. I don't care if this sounds delusional. I'm sending this one out to you where ever you are tonight...and when we find each other, we'll both come back to this posting and the next time we post this song, it'll be our reality.

I'm digging deep on this one my friend....don't be afraid...go ahead and close your eyes and imagine and feel what's being sung...

The playground of my imagination is so rich....I love...I live....the rapture of love is here. I have faith in is on the way....

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I made this music player at

Saturday, March 22, 2008

PMS (Petty Men Stuff)

But there's one thing about it, I'm hopeful and I'm here...


But, life goes still happens. I can't get it together today. Aside from the biological aspect of this song, it's the only one that expresses me right now. This ain't right, that ain't right. Ain't satisfied with a thing. So much to do and don't feel like doing it. So far to go but hell, I'm tired. Don't want to hear "It'll be alright.." No, it will not be alright! Keep your issues to yourself...I could care less. Still thinking about those fools...why do they seem to be winning? Ain't satisfied with a stitch in that closet and ain't nothing fitting right...all that working out and metabolism consumes the muscle mass before anything happens. What's the point? Furiousness to the 2nd power...what a space to be in. Uggh..get away..

Monday, March 17, 2008

But There's One Thing About It...

This is from the heart..

You know, I believe that it is a beautiful thing when you can be your authentic self. I mean really and truly be who you are....and then dare to be happy with it. I'm sitting here at my desk and I feel so full. I'm full because I can feel breakthroughs happening on the inside and can feel prayers being answered. All within me. It's amazing how God will align a song, a word, a story or a person at an appointed time and cause an overflow of epiphanic occurrences.

I've been looking at different videos of Fantasia singing the following song constantly over the past couple days:

"I'm Here" became all clear to me. It's all so pristine clear to me. I began to go into my own interpretation of this song. I suddenly can apply almost every part of this song to my own life. I've been saying to friends constantly how I could feel a spirit of "simplicity" this year. Simplicity. I didn't realize how prophetic that word was and is to become for my life hence forth.

I can feel changes happening within myself.

Last night I was sitting and looking back over my short life. The things that I've done, good and bad. I thought about my naive days when I truly had "my foot on the gas and hands in the air". I thought about all of the ups...those mighty peaks and those downs.....the times when I ached and cried and believed with everything within me that I wouldn't make it. Hmph...

As I listen to Fantasia sing..

"I don't need you to love me...I don't need you to love..."

My mind goes to all of my failed attempts at dating...oh I was so in love. All I wanted was for someone to love me.

"I've got my sister, I can't feel her now, she may not be here...but she still mine and I know she still love me..."

I think about my brother and how for so long we were not very close and even now how it feels like I'm an only child. I think about how I wish he'd call sometimes and show genuine interest but then the spirit of simplicity tells me, "He may not be here, you may not feel him. he may not call but he's still yours and you know that he still loves you." And I still love him...

"Got my house, it still keep the cold out. Got my chair when my body can't hold out. Got my hands doing good like they're supposed to, showing my heart to the folks that I'm close to..."

"Got my eyes, though they don't see as far now. They see more bout how things really are now......"

My God, my eyes...."they see more bout how things really are now.."

I sit here and think about how blessed I am. I'm not among the most blessed but still don't and won't fall short of the exceeding and abundant markers. No, things don't always go well and sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I cry about this, cry about that, cry because I miss him, cry because he didn't want me, cry because they used to tease me, cry because I have to do this and do that only to have to do more and go through more. But hey....I'm seeing things much clearer now....somehow I'm alright. No need for you to have to explain why it happened. You don't even have to sugar-coat it to make me feel better. You know why? Because I've got my eyes and although they don't see as far now(lenscrafters lol), they see more bout how things really are now. Hmm..I think I'll delete some numbers out of my phone is what it is.

So what do you do with all of this tragedy, hurt, pain, uselessness, do you turn it all around? You know what I'm going to do? (I now feel chills and eyes water as I prepare to hit the return key and type)

"I'm gonna...take a deep breath. I'm gonna hold my head up. I'm gonna put my shoulders back and look you straight in the eyes. I'm gonna flirt with somebody when they walk by. I'm gonna sing out..."

Yes. I sit here and allow the transformation and growth to take place within my body and life right now. I've been living with my gear in "neutral" long enough. It it what it is, I'm gonna let this happiness flow.

"I believe I have inside of me everything that I need to live a bountiful life. With all the love alive in me, I'll stand as tall as the tallest tree."

I can see's all already right here in me. It's been here all the time. I feel like I have 1,000 wings....I'll close my eyes and bask in the gentleness of this God-granted soar through the clouds...time for a higher elevation.

"And I'm thankful for each day that I'm given....both the easy and hard ones I'm living.."

I'm thankful for the headaches..even on the days when my Alieve is no where to be found. Even on my lonely days when no one can be found and it's just me riding along in the car. It is what it is and I'm thankful.

"But most of all, I'm thankful for.......loving who I really am.."

I'm so thankful to be who I am right now. That person who can be so talkative and funny....mean and yet so sensitive. That same person who was not appreciated nor valued at times....talked about and discouraged. That same boy who was taunted and teased. That person who I almost hated, called dumb, ugly, useless, awkward..that same person.....YES I'm thankful for loving who I really am.

"I'm beautiful.." - In everyway imaginable.

What can I say? I may be judged and put down. There's still gonna be those days when I don't feel like going. I'm single and may forever be single. There will be the times when I lose that good friend or when he decides he doesn't want to be with me anymore and walks out. Love ones may pass on. The tears will come....the goodness and good things that I long for will come...or..they may never come...

But there's one thing about it, I'm hopeful and I'm here..

Friday, March 14, 2008

Fun Friday

It's the last day of the week and I wanted to end it in a fun way. I've compiled a few comedy clips that I think are just hilarious! Make sure that you keep your finger on the volume button, depending on where you are. Have a great weekend!


Thea Vidal

The Fruitcake Lady


Thursday, March 13, 2008

Then They Were All Gone...

This is me at random. (Don't judge me!) lol


I'm sitting here in one of my normal whimsical moods. I'm thinking about something that's always on my mind but lately I haven't given much energy of dwelling in it.

Love is on my mind.

Let me ask you, in the secret corners of your heart and mind, you know, the places that you don't like to think about since you're now a "grown man/woman" (clears throat) and you developed that "backbone" you ever had a lifelong fairytale type dream that you would indeed find the one? I'm talking about love-perfect in everyway imaginable...

Throughout all of your dating/relationship ups and downs with this and that person, do you ever get fed up with it all and just beckon to the universe that you are ready for that person immediately?!

When you find yourself in the midst of only yourself with quietness squeezing through every inch within, around, above and beneath you , when you're tired of being strong and those tears that you won't allow to fall because "hmph! You're strong!" you ever think about that person whom you know because they are yours but you don't know because they aren't there yet.......their sound, their smile........their scent....what will we laugh about it? The fights, my God, the fights.....the way we make up. I'm talking about the times when no one else will do because you know that they are there.....somewhere.

I just imagine outside dining on a "Dessert Sunday". Sitting there eating my favorite toasted poundcake toppled with vanilla ice cream....staring off into space, thinking about you of course....then there's the first "Hello!"......then...."Is anyone joining you?"

My God, all of these years....the tears.......I used to........then....they were all gone...

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I made this music player at

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Marching Through...

Wow...I missed the first 12 days of this month. That alone makes it completely evident that there are a lot of other things taking precedence in my energy and mental pool. There will not be a wish list for this month because I normally like to list things that spark my interest over the course of the previous month. There have been a few things but none that I truly desire to have. So I've got my eyes out this month for some new things to share.

This month has already been pretty interesting. It hasn't been bad but having to rise to higher standards is tough. I must admit. But....I'm doing it.....and I will continue doing it.