Love...now that's some power

Ok, just so you know, I have no clue of what's going on with the layout of my blog. I've fiddled with the layout and it didn't change anything so...I don't know.


Anyway...I wanted to blog tonight but had no clue of what to talk about. I mean, I'm not at all out of something that I can talk about. This heart and mind of mine is so full on wonders and sweet mistiness. I mean, what can I say? I'm such a "lovely" guy...in the sense of being love and affection inspired. In the past I haven't embraced this characteristic of myself proudly but now I do. It's apart of me and I love it. Being able to listen to love music and pull meaning and feeling out of it and not have a soul to love...are you kidding me? It's heaven. Sometimes.....and at times it is so intoxicating that I almost buckle from all of the unshared emotions, which says to me that all this love needs to be given.

Another thing that I've been coming to grips with lately is the fact that I'm still in love with my....I guess you can say "ex". He's no longer in my life in that way so I guess he is an ex. You know, this very thing that has caused me a lot of depression and wondering why I still thought about him and pleading with my heart to let him go has become something different for me. My reason is because I understand what he and that situation meant to me. This man stood in the gaps of many places in my life. Although his time in my life was brief, for that moment in time, he was mine. I'm not ashamed to admit that this man made me better. Bump all of the "Well you need to be this or that alone first and theeeeen..." Bolony! And I'm speaking for my OWN life, I can't imagine not having a "need" or being a fulfillment of a need for the love of my life. As human beings, love is key. I now understand why, in my continued single season, my heart won't loose its grasp on him. It simply won't until the next "love" comes along that's equal to or greater than what is currently in its fisted glove. And...I've gotta say...that I'm ok with that. I can't say that I'm in his thoughts or that he isn't giving the love that I wanted to someone else at this very moment but I can say that the purpose he served in life really raised the standard. To know what it looks like and what it feels like......and just to know that I didn't even make it to the deep end. I can only imagine what that end holds for me.

Umm....that's all.

I'm such a love bug...